My love has been returned to me. He was released from the clutches of that sterile, concrete prison, detached from the foreign liquids releasing into his veins, finally breathing air that has not gone stale flowing through rattling passages.
Fuck yeah!
He is, however, still recovering. Therefore, we've been sitting on his mom's couch, watching Toddlers & Tiaras. I'm driving my mom to work almost every day so I can be with him here -- his mom's house is too far away for me to ride my bike.
I also received the dress I won from Tiger Cult. I love it dearly, and am so glad I went for a dress in simple black with interesting detail.
29 July 2010
26 July 2010
Oh me, oh my!
I don't have to work until 4pm today! It's truly miraculous!
Last night, I had several plans that I wanted to make happen, including spending some waking time in the hospital with Sean, but I ended up passing out in all my clothes at 8pm. Usually when I come to the hospital it's mostly to sleep, since I don't have that many days off, and generally have to wake up anywhere from 3-6am. Last night, I was excited to have some time with Sean during which I didn't have to worry about getting enough sleep. Mission accomplished, I suppose.
Lisa and I did a photoshoot yesterday, which was fun. I am the most awkward model ever, but I'm excited about answering the questions she's going to send me!
Last night, I had several plans that I wanted to make happen, including spending some waking time in the hospital with Sean, but I ended up passing out in all my clothes at 8pm. Usually when I come to the hospital it's mostly to sleep, since I don't have that many days off, and generally have to wake up anywhere from 3-6am. Last night, I was excited to have some time with Sean during which I didn't have to worry about getting enough sleep. Mission accomplished, I suppose.
Lisa and I did a photoshoot yesterday, which was fun. I am the most awkward model ever, but I'm excited about answering the questions she's going to send me!
22 July 2010
Thrift Town
I've scored big at Thrift Town, both yesterday and today. I couldn't stop finding stuff yesterday, and my total didn't pass up twenty bucks. Today, I was sure that because of my good luck last night, I wouldn't find anything today. However, it went very well.
I've been experimenting with outfit pictures. I haven't taken any I actually like, but I'm moving forward! I feel like I should try to get into the Style Blog community in a bigger way, because those are pretty much the only blogs I follow.
I've been experimenting with outfit pictures. I haven't taken any I actually like, but I'm moving forward! I feel like I should try to get into the Style Blog community in a bigger way, because those are pretty much the only blogs I follow.
19 July 2010
Memorial
Yesterday was Ben's memorial. It was in the sweltering Sacramento outdoor heat, though the fortunate set-uppers found a shady spot. I drank an entire gallon of water that I bought at a gas station on the way to the park. I got to hear stories from Ben's high school friends, from his family, and heartfelt speeches from my own close friends. I think everyone cried, but many of the stories were just funny, about the various forms of destruction carried out at Ben's old house (where he lived when I met him, and where apparently everyone spent time).
Afterward, I rode over to the hospital to visit with Sean, who's started talking again, although tentatively. The way that's phrased, I know it sounds like I'm talking about a child, but bone marrow transplants fuck your shit up in many areas, one of which is the throat/mouth. He hasn't spoken in days. We talked for a little while about the day, and about Ben. I was putting sheets on his hospital bed for him, and he was sitting on my cot, telling me (pretty nicely) how I was doing it wrong, when I realized how happy I was to hear his voice.
Then, I burst into tears, because my tear ducts are unstoppable these days.
There's some major work drama going on that no one is allowed to talk about, but that everyone is talking about anyway. I don't know what it is, and I'm going to make it a point never to find out.
Afterward, I rode over to the hospital to visit with Sean, who's started talking again, although tentatively. The way that's phrased, I know it sounds like I'm talking about a child, but bone marrow transplants fuck your shit up in many areas, one of which is the throat/mouth. He hasn't spoken in days. We talked for a little while about the day, and about Ben. I was putting sheets on his hospital bed for him, and he was sitting on my cot, telling me (pretty nicely) how I was doing it wrong, when I realized how happy I was to hear his voice.
Then, I burst into tears, because my tear ducts are unstoppable these days.
There's some major work drama going on that no one is allowed to talk about, but that everyone is talking about anyway. I don't know what it is, and I'm going to make it a point never to find out.
14 July 2010
13 July 2010
Dreamamine
I couldn't stop dreaming about Ben in the hospital last night, and eventually stopped trying to go back to sleep at around 6am. I kept waking up relieved, then drifting off with the vague hope for a new dream, and picking up right where I left off.
It hasn't made for a very comfortable day off. I've just been sitting on the computer all day, drinking coffee and staying sleepy.
It hasn't made for a very comfortable day off. I've just been sitting on the computer all day, drinking coffee and staying sleepy.
12 July 2010
More hospital talk
I found out the other day that a friend of mine and a better friend of Sean's is in the hospital, unconscious from a blood infection and subsequent liver and kidney malfunctions. Just talked to someone with info, who said he has a very small chance of survival.
I'm upset about it myself, of course -- Ben and I have known each other for five or six years, and used to hang out quite a lot. However, I feel much worse for Sean than for myself, because he has been especially close with Ben recently, and is completely helpless in the hospital himself. It's a very sad situation, caused by an infected wound on his arm. I'm still hoping he'll make it out of this okay, but that is unfortunately very unlikely.
I took a really good picture of him a few weeks ago, too. Is now a weird time to post it?
I'm upset about it myself, of course -- Ben and I have known each other for five or six years, and used to hang out quite a lot. However, I feel much worse for Sean than for myself, because he has been especially close with Ben recently, and is completely helpless in the hospital himself. It's a very sad situation, caused by an infected wound on his arm. I'm still hoping he'll make it out of this okay, but that is unfortunately very unlikely.
I took a really good picture of him a few weeks ago, too. Is now a weird time to post it?
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