Hot spittle.

I hope that the horrible pain I'm feeling in my back wasn't caused by the hospital cot, because if that's the case, it won't be going away for a month or more. It could honestly be a number of things; standing on my feet all day at work, riding my bike (which has drop handlebars), my insoles, cot-sleepin'. It might just be the normal fluctuations of my back pain, which roll in and roll out unpredictably -- both similar and dissimilar to ocean tides.

Today marks what could be my last day of veganism. However, I think I'm sticking to it. Mostly because it really hasn't been that hard, and I'm losing hella weight, but also partially because I just started this new job and explained to a bunch of co-workers exactly what it means that I'm vegan. I don't want to just mysteriously stop now, because I'd feel lame.

Something really flattering is that my friend Lisa wants to do a blog post about my style. I feel like it's really misleading to call how I dress "stylish", because I don't actually go to the effort of styling anything, but rather just find cool pieces at thrift or vintage stores, and throw on a pair of loafers or flats, and maybe a hat. So I feel like doing a feature like that would just be me showing off the cool stuff I found at various thrift stores.

Dingaling.

There is no alarm quite like the sound of the person you love crying in pain.

Just sent Sean off to the ER -- he couldn't talk quite enough to tell me what was wrong, except that everything hurt. I had to call his mom and ask her to take him to the hospital, because I have to work in a couple of hours. This past week has been pretty rough. I always wish that Sean could do stuff and enjoy himself before he goes into the hospital, especially because this time is going to be for so long. But by the time his admission date rolls around, he's always feeling really shitty because it's been so long since his last chemo, and his tumors are all swelling again and hurting him.

Actually, I guess Sean does enjoy himself before he goes in. He just does it by playing music with other people, an activity in which I am not involved. I only see the exhausted aftermath of any enjoyable thing that he does.

I don't know what they're going to do about this pain that he's in. He was going to get admitted tomorrow anyway, and if he needs surgery or anything (because it's quite possible this is a kidney stone) it could very well delay the bone marrow transplant he's scheduled to begin pre-meds for tomorrow.

Hopefully, this will all be over soon. It won't, but I still hope for it. I don't even know if we've hit the worst of it yet.

Faux toes.

I thought I'd share a few photos; mostly to generate some interest in my blog. These were all taken today -- less than thirty minutes ago, in fact!

This is my lovely boy, correcting the paint job I did on that chair.



My bike in my parents' backyard. I love those sunken garbage cans, which my mom wants to start using for compost. I think that will make the yard very inviting for vermin.



The blogger herself.

Day off

I have a joyous day off today. To begin it, I slept in until past eleven, which was unheard of even during the months in which I was unemployed. Upon waking up, I put clothes into the washing machine.

Now, here I am. I decided to blog before I did anything significant with my day, not realizing that it would hinder my ability to write anything meaningful or interesting.

I've been missing a lot of Sean's appointments because of work, and it's harder than I thought. I hate making him talk about the stuff after it's over, because there are only a few moments during which he can forget what he's gone through, and I don't want to make any more time miserable for him than is necessary. Because of this, I should feel stoked that he has his consent signing appointment today, but it just feels kind of miserable. Every appointment his bone marrow transplant coordinator is involved in leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth, because he hates her, and is clearly trying not to lose his shit every time she's in the room.

I wanted to go thrift store shopping, but I have neither money, nor a car. I believe I get paid on Friday, but there are many things I should do before thrift shopping. Pay my parents back, pay off big chunks of my credit card bill, put money into savings for an apartment...

It just seems never ending.

Feeling fairly dissatisfied

I guess if I want to make work bearable, I need to do other things that I really love. The problem is, I'm not really sure what I enjoy doing.

Getting the ball rolling.

I've actually had a pretty accomplished day. Went to work from 11-3; a period of time that was shockingly dull, considering all the training I had to cover. Working those hours really messes up my eating schedule. I wake up automatically around 9, and I'm usually ravenous either when I wake up, or shortly after I wake up. I eat around 9:30, and get hungry again around 2. I only get a 10 minute break for these short shifts around 1, and I'm never hungry that early. Hopefully my body will throw me a bone sometime soon and fucking acclimate, because that last hour is pretty miserable.

Anyway, my problems are small.

When I got home, Sean was awake, and we went out and posted fliers for his show on Friday. I got to do a little shopping, because the stores in which we taped them up were mostly thrift. I bought a straw cloche-style hat from Cuff's as a birthday present, and I think it will be a staple this summer.

Sean and I returned from advertising and a trip to the hardware store, and we sat in the backyard working on projects. He's sanding and painting one of his guitars, and I'm painting and re-upholstering a chair that was sitting on my grandparents' porch for about a decade. Both of us are teaching ourselves. I just left him outside on his own, because I ran out of paint.

I found some people looking for a roommate in their apartment, and emailed them. Even if they don't email me back, it feels really good that I'm in the position to move out.

Birthday

Today is my birthday. I stayed up late last night cleaning my room so that I wouldn't wake up to a big mess on my birthday. Despite that, I woke up and cleaned the kitchen.

I then rode the ol' bike to have coffee with Hollis and Jenny on Hollis' lunch break. Starbucks was nice enough to give me the day off today, although I only started training yesterday. The pressure's really off on the training materials, because they're really strict about not working while you're not getting paid. I also have Saturday off, which is great, because on Friday Sean has another show at Old Ironsides with Phantom Jets and another band I'd never heard of. The training days are pretty painless anyway -- just the reading of a few little booklets.

Anyway, hopefully I'll be going thrifting later today -- possibly with my mother. Tonight, I have no idea what's going to happen. Probably nothing.